Learning Stress Management Coping Skills

April 3, 2008

Last night, I went to my first - of six weekly sessions - Stress Management Class. It’s being held at the Christian Counseling Center where I meet with J, although J is not the leader of the class. I think it’s going to be a good class. It’s small - just a few people (all women) and we all seem to have a good rapport and are comfortable with each other.

Today one of my good friends sent me an email containing the following:

CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS …

An Angel says, ‘Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn’t happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.’

1. Pray

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

4. Say No to projects that won’t fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

5. Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and unclutter your life.

7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.

9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don’t lump the hard things all together.

10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns .. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety . If you can’t do anything about a situation, forget it.

12. Live within your budget; don’t use credit cards for ordinary purchases.

13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.

15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.

16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.

17. Get enough rest.

18. Eat right.

19 Get organized so everything has its place.

20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.

21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.

22. Every day, find time to be alone.

23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don’t wait until it’s time to go to bed to try and pray.

24. Make friends with Godly people.

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.

26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good ‘Thank you Jesus ..’

27. Laugh.

28. Laugh some more!

29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.

30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).

31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).

32. Sit on your ego.

33 Talk less; listen more.

34. Slow down.

35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.

36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you’re grateful for that you’ve never been grateful for before.

GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.

‘If God is for us, who can be against us?’

(Romans 8:31)

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Entertaining Strangers or Angels

March 30, 2008

“Do not forget to entertain strangers,
for by so doing some people have entertained
angels without knowing it.”
Hebrews 13:2

I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.”
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.”
He looked at me and said, “Hey thanks!” There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, “Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!” He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak.Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!” He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. ” Thanks,” he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach . . .but mostly your friends . . . I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.”
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. “Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable..”
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.Not until that moment did I realize it’s depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions..
With one small gesture you can change a person’s life.
For better or for worse.
We are all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.
Every word we say, every expression on our face, each tone of our voice and our body language tells those with whom we come in contact a message - whether it’s a message we intended to convey or not. Please God, make me ever mindful that the impression I leave with others is the impression I intend - You, Father, living in me!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

My Best "Chance"!!

April 1, 2008

A couple of weeks ago, Chance was an usher at my niece’s wedding. As you can see, he sports a different kind of “do”. He also has his lip pierced, but the bride asked him not to wear his lips rings (2) during the ceremony. (Couldn’t wear the rings, but the mohawk was okay?)

It was interesting to watch people’s reaction when they first saw Chance! Most were very accepting (and, of course, many were family) and teased Chance about his hair. Others looked at him as if they knew the person underneath the mohawk and from the expression on their face - didn’t need, or want, to know anything else about him. Some people looked at his hair and judged him as a person.

Chance is a great kid! He’s very kind, loving and intelligent. He’s also a very confident person - as you can see by his appearance! To look at him as if he were anything else is a mistake! He’s very quick-witted and funny! He has a comeback to anything thrown at him! He is one of my greatest blessings.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could all look past appearance and see others (and ourselves) as God sees each of us! None of us can know what’s inside another person unless we are allowed “in” to that person’s life. We may think we know someone - but we only know what that person allows us to know about them!

How amazing it is that God loves us no matter what we look like. God sees our heart and that’s how I want to see others! My counselor, J, has encouraged me to make a conscious effort to smile and greet others that I come in contact with each day. Where I work that is actually in our employee handbook - that we smile and greet anyone who comes within ten feet of us! That probably seems odd, but we are a hospital where patients and their families sometimes need that little bit of contact. It is something that I make an effort to do every day.

One of the things I’m struggling with right now is the separation from my husband. It is awkward for me to have to answer questions. I’m not really ready to share reasons - not yet. I don’t want to place blame - there’s enough for both of us! I won’t talk badly about my husband - there’s no reason! No one needs to know more than I am willing to share! J told me that one of the paths I need to take in my “recovery” is to stop worrying about what others may think of decisions that I have made regarding my life! No one lived my life - no one knows the issues and events in my marriage that brought us to this point. I’m okay with that! I’m learning to say, “I would rather not talk about it, thank you.”

God knows my heart. God knows my marriage. God is my sanctuary.

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Learning Stress Management Coping Skills

April 3, 2008

Last night, I went to my first - of six weekly sessions - Stress Management Class. It’s being held at the Christian Counseling Center where I meet with J, although J is not the leader of the class. I think it’s going to be a good class. It’s small - just a few people (all women) and we all seem to have a good rapport and are comfortable with each other.

Today one of my good friends sent me an email containing the following:

CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS …

An Angel says, ‘Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn’t happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.’

1. Pray

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

4. Say No to projects that won’t fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

5. Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and unclutter your life.

7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.

9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don’t lump the hard things all together.

10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns .. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety . If you can’t do anything about a situation, forget it.

12. Live within your budget; don’t use credit cards for ordinary purchases.

13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.

15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.

16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.

17. Get enough rest.

18. Eat right.

19 Get organized so everything has its place.

20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.

21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.

22. Every day, find time to be alone.

23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don’t wait until it’s time to go to bed to try and pray.

24. Make friends with Godly people.

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.

26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good ‘Thank you Jesus ..’

27. Laugh.

28. Laugh some more!

29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.

30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).

31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).

32. Sit on your ego.

33 Talk less; listen more.

34. Slow down.

35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.

36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you’re grateful for that you’ve never been grateful for before.

GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.

‘If God is for us, who can be against us?’

(Romans 8:31)

In His Love and Blessings
annb

My Best "Chance"!!

April 1, 2008

A couple of weeks ago, Chance was an usher at my niece’s wedding. As you can see, he sports a different kind of “do”. He also has his lip pierced, but the bride asked him not to wear his lips rings (2) during the ceremony. (Couldn’t wear the rings, but the mohawk was okay?)

It was interesting to watch people’s reaction when they first saw Chance! Most were very accepting (and, of course, many were family) and teased Chance about his hair. Others looked at him as if they knew the person underneath the mohawk and from the expression on their face - didn’t need, or want, to know anything else about him. Some people looked at his hair and judged him as a person.

Chance is a great kid! He’s very kind, loving and intelligent. He’s also a very confident person - as you can see by his appearance! To look at him as if he were anything else is a mistake! He’s very quick-witted and funny! He has a comeback to anything thrown at him! He is one of my greatest blessings.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could all look past appearance and see others (and ourselves) as God sees each of us! None of us can know what’s inside another person unless we are allowed “in” to that person’s life. We may think we know someone - but we only know what that person allows us to know about them!

How amazing it is that God loves us no matter what we look like. God sees our heart and that’s how I want to see others! My counselor, J, has encouraged me to make a conscious effort to smile and greet others that I come in contact with each day. Where I work that is actually in our employee handbook - that we smile and greet anyone who comes within ten feet of us! That probably seems odd, but we are a hospital where patients and their families sometimes need that little bit of contact. It is something that I make an effort to do every day.

One of the things I’m struggling with right now is the separation from my husband. It is awkward for me to have to answer questions. I’m not really ready to share reasons - not yet. I don’t want to place blame - there’s enough for both of us! I won’t talk badly about my husband - there’s no reason! No one needs to know more than I am willing to share! J told me that one of the paths I need to take in my “recovery” is to stop worrying about what others may think of decisions that I have made regarding my life! No one lived my life - no one knows the issues and events in my marriage that brought us to this point. I’m okay with that! I’m learning to say, “I would rather not talk about it, thank you.”

God knows my heart. God knows my marriage. God is my sanctuary.

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Entertaining Strangers or Angels

March 30, 2008

“Do not forget to entertain strangers,
for by so doing some people have entertained
angels without knowing it.”
Hebrews 13:2

I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.”
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.”
He looked at me and said, “Hey thanks!” There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, “Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!” He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak.Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!” He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. ” Thanks,” he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach . . .but mostly your friends . . . I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.”
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. “Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable..”
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.Not until that moment did I realize it’s depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions..
With one small gesture you can change a person’s life.
For better or for worse.
We are all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.
Every word we say, every expression on our face, each tone of our voice and our body language tells those with whom we come in contact a message - whether it’s a message we intended to convey or not. Please God, make me ever mindful that the impression I leave with others is the impression I intend - You, Father, living in me!

In His Love and Blessings
annb