The Things I Know!

The "Thursday Thirteen" was fun! I not only read other people’s blogs, but also put myself out there to meet people online and maybe start new friendships! I often tell people that starting this online journal has been therapeutic for me.
My life is good and I know how blessed I am, thanking God each day for the wonders that are mine to enjoy. Sometimes, I’m so comfortable that I don’t think about situations other people are living in – stress, turmoil, ill health and so many other things. My daily focus is on God and through His grace and mercy; I am strengthened – through prayer – and able to handle problems as they arise.

"This righteousness from God

comes through faith in Jesus Christ

to all who believe." Romans 3:22

I can imagine how lost people are when they make life choices contrary to the teachings of our Lord. Many years ago, I was one of those people making choices that would negatively impact my life – for the rest of my life!
I found others, through the "Thursday Thirteen" blogs I read, that have suffered some of the same trauma I experienced – bringing back many memories that I had “stuffed” away! There was one blog I found, http://adultsurvivors.blogspot.com, that really caused the memories to come flooding back! The blog is about childhood abuse, which was not my case, but the entry was so expressive and so accurate that it applies even if the abuse took place when the victim was an adult!
The author talks about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and the problems a victim carries with them throughout life. I know that my experiences have stayed with me and have caused me to build up walls that need to fall, but I don’t know how they will ever be brought down! I don’t give myself fully in relationships – whether the relationship is with a friend or even with some family members. When you’ve been hurt by a person who vows to care for you and protect you for a lifetime, do those scars ever go away? So far, I have not found the way. I have, in my heart, forgiven my abuser. Though I never told the abuser that I had forgiven him. After reading the blogs of other women who suffered abuse in the same manner, it seems that once they were able to express to the abuser that he was forgiven, they are able to move forward! Is that something I should do? Is that something I want to do? I honestly don’t know! I don’t believe he would receive the message the way it would be given and would also let him know where I am and how he could again find me. I pray that forgiving him, whether expressing it openly or not, is pleasing to God!
Something I do know – since having my Mom back home, it has made me much more aware of “time”. The time we have on this earth is so limited and I am more conscious of telling my family and my friends how I feel about them. I know that if I should leave this earth, I would want them all to know how much I love them. I’ve written some notes to my children – confessing my faults as a parent, asking their forgiveness for mistakes I made and also letting them know that everything I’ve done – for them or to them – was done in love. The kids probably think I’m losing my mind right along with Granny losing hers!
My birthday is in a couple of weeks - number 49 this year. The numbers have never bothered me and is not bothering me now except for the fact, that it becomes more real – I’m aging! I’m growing older! My children are growing older! Even my grandchildren will not be left behind and insist on growing older, also!
I guess what I’m really doing is working on myself a little more than I have in years past! The kids are grown, Mom sleeps most of the day now and I’m left to myself most of the time! I have a lot of “thinking time” which may or may not be a good thing!

Anyway,

these are the things I know:
1. I know that I am thankful for a great and merciful God who gives forgiveness to those of us who are unworthy of that forgiveness!

"In him we have redemption through his blood,

the forgiveness of sins,in accordance with the riches of God's grace" Ephesians 1:7

2. I know that I am thankful for my parents who taught us about the love of God and how we were made in his image – with free will to choose the paths we take in this life. How Our God must rejoice when one of us returns and comes back under the shelter of His grace – but of course, He knew that we would!

"Train a child in the way he should go,

and when he is old

he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6

3. I know that I’m thankful for my husband, Jody. He loves me as I am – which is something I could not do for a very long time! He has taught me many things, and I never want to experience life without him!

Genesis 2

(22) Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. (23) The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man." (24) For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

4. I know that I am thankful for my children. My daughters are all wives and mothers; my son is a strong, loving teenager, and knowing that we taught them to love the Lord and to live a good life based on the teachings of God, I pray they will make good choices for their lives.

“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 5:1,2

”My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.” 1 John 2:1

5. I know that I am thankful to have my Mom living with us for the remainder of her life. She was so unhappy in the nursing home, after she became so confused! I am thankful that God provided Jody and me with the wisdom to know how we could manage our finances without me working an outside job.

“But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.” 1 Timothy 5:4

6. I know that I am thankful to have been taught to love God and to keep his commandments. I know that I am thankful that Jesus Christ came and lived on this earth in the flesh and then died on the cross so that we may all experience his forgiveness through our repentance! I know that I am thankful to have been taught the power of the Holy Spirit!

My prayer to my Heavenly Father is a prayer of Thanksgiving for the many blessings he has bestowed upon me. Thanksgiving for my family and the closeness we share! Thanksgiving that Mother, even though she is more confused, is not as anxious as time goes by. Thankfulness for the freedoms we have in this country and prayers for the leaders of our country to make decisions pleasing to Him! I pray for humility – to live a life pleasing to God – a life of love and forgiveness. I pray for others, who may be suffering or may not know the Lord – that they will be taught and come to know of the peace that comes only through Him!

Philippians 2:

(1)” If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,

(2) then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

(3) Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

(4) Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

(5) Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

(6) Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

(7) but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

(8) And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!

(9) Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name,

(10) that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

(11) and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father.”